Parenting...what the NICU road taught me

I am a two-time mommy.  I knew what to expect with the birth of my second child.  What I expected was not what happened.  After six weeks of hospital bedrest, I gave birth to my youngest at 33 weeks.  Everything I "expected" and knew went out the window.

I had diapered a child before.  I learned to diaper a child smaller than the baby dolls I had as a child.  I learned to manuever around the wires to prevent false alarms that still sent a shock thru my being.

I had breastfed a child before.  I learned that preemies born before 34 weeks don't eat on their own.  They lack the suck/swallow reflex and then when you add remembering to breathe in there, it take much longer.  I learned to determine when and if he could handle nursing and for how long so that he may finish a feeding orally as opposed to through a tube in his nose.

I had snuggled a baby before.  I learned the benefits of Kangaroo care.  Each time I would hold my son all of his respiratory and pulmonary functions regulated.  He became one with me.  His temperature controlled, his breathing regular, slow and peaceful.

I had woken in the middle of the night to check if my child was still breathing before.  I learned that I would call nightly when I was pumping (typically 3 am) to see if my child had gained, had breathing spells, etc. since I had left him in the hospital.

I had bathed a child before.  I learned to bathe a child in a bedpan no basin no bigger than a bedpan and still he looked like he was in a kiddie pool.  A process that required two people.

I had a c-section and an extended stay at the hospital, taking my son home after 4 days before.  I learned what it felt like to leave your heart (child) at the hospital and not take him home for another 6 weeks.

I had flowers, visitors, and baby gifts sent to us before.  I learned who was really there for us and could handle this new challenge we were embarking on.  They still visited, sent flowers and gifts and treated this as it should be, a celebration, a little early, but a celebration.

The NICU experience certainly taught me that things are out of your control.  Even when you do everything right, there is no gaurantee.

Press Release, you see it first

I am not sure when or if this will make the paper, so I wanted to share it with you. This is a press release about our efforts specifically at the VBTC to support the MOD's mission.

Press Release- For Immediate Release
March of Dimes Fundraiser Nets Over $1,000.00 for “Team Gunner”

Lawrence- Health Academy Instructor Karen Obreiter rallied her students to participate in a March of Dimes Fundraiser this year. The Health Academy consists of four college level classes including Medical Terminology, Introductory Psychology, Human Growth and Learning and Interpersonal Communications. Students may receive high school credit for these classes and, if they meet the criteria, may earn up to twelve college credits through Southwestern Michigan College, It was a weeklong fundraiser, to raise money for the March of Dimes, an organization that supports healthy babies and safe pregnancies. Because the goal was to help raise money for safe and healthy babies, the contest that they sponsored was a “Cutest Baby Contest,” in which people could drop money in a can positioned behind a picture of seven beautiful babies, the idea being that you were voting for this darling baby that was pictured in front of the can with the slot. The class named the drive “Team Gunner,” after Christi Young’s son Gunner, born in June 2009. Christi is the Social Work Program Advisor of the Social Sciences Division at Southwestern Michigan College, and Karen Obreiter’s Lead Instructor for the classes here at the Van Buren Technology Center. Christi Young had experienced a traumatic series of events during her pregnancy, including having her water break at 28 weeks. Hospitalized at 28 weeks, she was kept in bed for the remainder of her pregnancy, which ended at 33 weeks, putting Gunner into the NICU for the next six weeks. Because of his early birth, Gunner required extensive medical intervention to develop to the point where he could live on his own. Karen’s classes studied these subjects, including premature and post mature births and birth defects in Human Growth and Learning, and the medical terms related to the female reproductive system in Medical Terminology course. Many of the medical interventions that were available to Gunner were the result of progress developed in part by funding for research from the March of Dimes. Additionally, Christi came to the classes at the Van Buren Technology Center with a powerpoint presentation on premature births, possible complications and potential preventive measures.

While the classes had a most modest goal of raising $150.00 for the March of Dimes, the Van Buren Intermediate School District and the Technology Center NEVER go small on anything. Students and staff alike are blessed with enthusiasm for every cause, and this cause, “Team Gunner” was no different. On the first day, they blew by the $150.00 goal, and by the end of the week had a total of $1,065.83. Bethany Milnickel, from Watervliet, went to her Principal, and asked if they could raise money at Watervliet High School for “Team Gunner” and the March of Dimes. With his blessing, the Watervliet High School held a “Hat and Pajama” Day where students could donate $2.00 to wear either a hat or pajamas to school that day. Watervliet, and Bethany raised $120.00 to add to “Team Gunner” for that extra effort! The Cutest Baby Contest raised $487.08, with little Henry Barber raking in $191.00 to lead the baby contest and Gavin Vegter brought in $121 as first runner-up. Adding in the Southwestern Michigan College donations to “Team Gunner,” we have a total of over $3,000.00 for the March of Dimes.

Additionally, students from Early Childhood Care Education, Fundamentals of Patient Care, and Health Academy all walked in the March of Dimes March march for babies on April 17th 2010. At the walk, students met families with healthy babies that had been born early as well as families of babies that did not survive their premature birth. As a result of their fundraiser and walk, these young people may be more empathic and compassionate health care professionals in the future. These students all participated in a cause that annually saves the life of many babies around the nation, although they set their sites around one little baby close to home.

How my mission (MOD) became your mission

The mission of the March of Dimes is to make sure every baby has its full nine months. I was touched by this mission when my son was born two months too soon. I personally planned on Marching for Healthy Babies while I was laying in a hospital bed sometime last May. I assumed it would be me who walked.

Much to my delight, surprise and amazement, my walk became "our" walk. My team grew before I even told people there was one. I hadn't even told Brian the dates and Team Gunner was three strong. My mother in law and a co-worker had already joined. As much as I was tickled by the team members, I was equally blown away by the donations received. Our team was at $200 before the end of January...the march was in April.

When I talked about prenatal development in my classes, I found not one, but SIX students who were the parent of a premature baby. When you add in the students who had a friend, sibling or relative who had a premature baby the total rose to about 12. Needless to say, students at SMC have been touched with the mission of the March of Dimes. Various fundraising efforts including pizza and sundae socials and a student manned a booth at Campus Bash hosting a cutest baby contest raised over $400 dollars for the March of Dimes. SMC faculty also donated over $200.

I guest lectured at the Van Buren Tech Center about prematurity. Many of the students there will become SMC students; they too were inspired to action. They held a week long cutest baby contest, sold T-shirts and awareness bands raising over $900. A student from Watervaliet High School took this mission on her own and got permission from her HS administrators to do a hat and pajama day at school and brought in another $120. We had the largest team there because over 20 students showed up over 50 miles from home to walk!

So needless to say, this was initially my mission, but it became so many other's as well.

On April 17th, Team Gunner comprised of family and friends who were touched by the premature birth marched on to make an impact on the goals of the March of Dimes. Together, we had the largest team of walkers there and raised over $3000 to help every baby get their full nine months.

DSC00108.JPG

Click here to view these pictures larger

Today we march....

Today we march. We march for healthier babies, for families torn by the NICU experience, for angel babies too perfect for this world, for families who experience the loss of a child, for mother’s who have to pump instead of nursing their babies, because other than that they are helpless in the care of their baby, for father’s who pace the halls and stand by their baby’s mother in fear of what is next, for preemies of ALL gestational ages and levels of health, and for anyone touched by the mission of the march of dimes.

We began this crusade sometime during my hospital bedrest stay. I was reading a blog, which moved me to tears, on how an amazing little boy and his parents decided to pay it forward. (Yes, we have all seen the movie) In lieu of birthday gifts, Robbie requested shower type gifts and scrap booking supplies for the families in the NICU. On his big day they delivered a carload of cupcakes and all of the donations made by his family and friends to the Hospital he was born at. At that moment, I knew I too, had to pay it forward.

So in December when they announced the dates of the Kalamazoo area walks, I marked my calendar and started my team. As of my tally last night, which does not include everything, we have raised over $2700.

What will that money go to? Funny you should wonder, because I have a story to go with that. Today, one of my team mates mentioned that her neighbor has a child who was born in the 20’s (weeks that is, not sure when) and has CP. She questioned herself when my team member asked her to donate, why she hadn’t done anything for the March of Dimes. She quickly answered herself…saying she never used their services. I have to beg to differ. I am the proud mother of 2 and aunt of 6..and 1/3. Each of those babies has benefited from the MOD’s research.

§ Not one of those mother’s took a drink of alcohol during pregnancy, why because the MOD’s research made Dr’s aware of the consequences of consuming alcohol in pregnancy (1973)
§ Not one of those babies left the hospital without newborn screening, that looks for 21 of the 29 life-threatening (if not detected) illnesses to newborns. The MOD has pushed for this since the early 80’s.
§ Every one of those mothers took prenatal vitamins with at least 800 mg of folic acid in them, because the MOD research showed the link between folic acid and neural tube health, decreasing defects by about 30%.
If Gunner should have had problems breathing at birth, which thank God he didn’t, he would have been treated with a artificial form of surfactant, which keeps the lungs inflated, which was also developed by MOD research.

So, rest assured, the money will go to a great use!

Seven days and Sunny

Time till the walk and the forecast for Saturday...I will keep you on a day to day update!

I am sure you are all getting a little tired of hearing about the March of Dimes and what they do and how I am trying to raise money for them, but I will be honest, I think that I have a lot more unresolved issues with Gunner's birth and NICU stay than I even realize. I most often don't really think about it. But, I say that, because all it takes is for me to see or meet someone who is fighting the same fight I am, raising money for the March of Dimes or telling their story of their little one born too soon.

For example, today I ran into Walmart and by the time I came out I see a familiar sight, a bright purple "family team" t-shirt that I know too well. This shirt is the uniform of someone who like me, rode that NICU rollercoaster, didn't get to take their baby home with them, fed their baby through a tube, pumped instead of nursed, maybe even lost a baby, and was also helped by the March of Dimes.

I chatted with her, made small talk, swapped GA's of our babies and said see you next weekend. She is walking for her 2lb 27 weeker next weekend. Truth be told, as soon as I got to my car I broke down in tears. Broke down because I know this is another family touched by prematurity. Touched to the point of action. I don't know this woman, but I know all to well her story.

So, do I apologize for getting on a soapbox on Gunner's Blog, that you may come to expecting to find amazing updates on this preemie miracle? Maybe, but I don't apologize fighting this fight for all those families who are in the trenches right now, not lucky enough to get their full nine months. So, bear with me...maybe next year I will have a blog dedicated to just that. But truth be told, although this is Gunner's Blog, this is also his story too. He was the 1 of 8 babies that is born prematurely...so he will always be a MOD baby.

He is why we walk...and probably always will.

MOD t-s are in!

Our Family Team shirts are in...Gunner is in charge of distribution

Here is my baby, who could be a model, modelling the smallest size available!